22 LESSONS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME!!!

Hey guys,

It’s been 2 months and 6 days since I started my baby blog, and yeah!! I am still a fresh newbie :) .

Today’s post is probably going to be quite a long and special one considering the fact that it’s my 22^nd post on the morning of Monday, the 3^rd day of November which happens to be my birthday and I am feeling 22!!. A big shout out to all Scorpios in the house..Whoop! Whoop!..We rock baby!!...okay, back to me.

I specifically intended for this post to be up on this day because it’s my 22^nd post and my 22^nd birthday..yeah!! It’s cool like that lol. 

I am really grateful to God, if not for whom, I wouldn't be writing this today. I was greeted with 22 by Taylor Swift and a cake from my friend Oby of Obyzworld, bless her loads. Its actually hard to believe that I have been on planet earth for 2 decades and 2 years. Gosh! I feel so old. Girls are really getting old yo! Where has the time gone? Seriously, I feel like I am nowhere near the same person I was a year ago at this time. Its crazy!! Anyways, I guess growth is a necessity and change is constant. 

I was thinking and remembering the days when life felt so simple that the only thing I cared about was how much candy I was going to eat and the only thing I worried about was how to tie my shoe lace, the days when mum was responsible for everything: the food I ate, the puffy shouldered dresses I wore, the friends I made and the life I lived. As I grow older, I have come to realize that truly, life isn't a bed of roses. It becomes more complicated as the stress of the real world slowly creeps in. I have learnt that life is a journey, sometimes, the road could be smooth, other times, it could be rough but in either case, there is always a lesson to be learnt.

Here are 22 lessons life has taught me. I do apologize for the length and I hope you do Enjoy!!

1.       BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE

When I was younger, I took a lot of things for granted, after all, I was young and didn't know what life could be like on the other side. Why should I have smaller toys? Why should my food be meatless? Why should I live in a smaller house with a smaller room and my friends in bigger houses and bigger rooms? Why can’t I have the best life? I never thought about how lucky I was to have had toys when other kids were making planes out of paper and cars out of bottle caps and sticks. I never thought about how lucky I was to have had food while others were begging on the streets. I also never thought about the fact that I had a smaller house while people slept under the bridge. As I grew older, I began to appreciate things a lot more as I realized that all the things I’d been given were not rights but privileges. Life alone is enough reason to be grateful and thankful.

2.       EVERYDAY IS A NEW BEGINNING

 

 Life and working with kids especially, has taught me that everyday is a new beginning. Sometimes, we may not have the best of days, things may not go as planned, targets may not be met, mistakes may be made, frustrations may present themselves and many more. But every new day is a blessing of a new beginning, a blank page in the dairy of my life, filled with incredible amount of opportunities and possibilities to move my life to the direction I want it to go. So, I have learnt to not carry baggage's from previous days to the next but to start afresh with each new day, realize the opportunities that present themselves in them and make good use of them.  

3.       IGNORE WHAT PEOPLE SAY

No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who act like they do and judge you because of that. I am usually one who tries to not hurt one person and at the same time, please the other person but guess what? It never works. You can actually never please anyone. If you like, cut your throat for them, they will never be satisfied. The human mind is never satisfied. So, I have learnt that pretending to be someone or something you are not, because you care so much about what people say or because you are trying to please a bunch of humans, will only make you lose the value of who you really are and also end you up making everyone else happy but yourself. The people who matter would love you anyways and the only person you should be bothered to please is God.

4.       GET RID OF THINGS THAT ADD ZERO VALUE TO YOUR LIFE

Life has taught me that there really isn't any point occupying space with things that add no value to your life. So, get rid of habits that don’t improve your life or people who aren't challenging you to be a better version of yourself and surround yourself with self driven individuals and people who make you happy rather than those who make your life complicated. You’ll be much happier in the end.

5.       LIVE IN THE MOMENT

The moment is all there is. I have learnt that worrying about the future doesn’t make it any less scary. It’s taken some time but I just don’t worry about much these days I just think its best to go with the flow because it makes life more enjoyable plus, the future will come weather you dwell on it or not. So, you might as well quit living in the past nor the future and just enjoy the moment.

6.       DANCE IN THE RAIN

Have you noticed that kids seem to get the idea more than a lot of adults? I guess that’s why life seems a lot easier and simpler while we are kids than when we become adults. Everybody wants a happy and beautiful life; no one wants a life full of challenges or adversities. But one thing I have learnt is that there really can’t be any rainbow without a little rain or a dark cloud. The storm must surely come but what matters most is how we respond to it when it does. You can choose to get drowned by complaining and despairing about all your challenges/problems or you can choose to swim and make the best of the worst situation.

7.       FOLLOW YOUR PASSION.

I often hear people say or list things that they love and hope to accomplish in the future and I often hear other people say things like 'why in the world would you want to do photography for a living or create art for a living, you would be better off going into engineering or law'. I have come to realize that pay matters a lot but following your passion and doing what you love is not about a job but about a life journey. Everyone has different talents and passions so everyone should have the opportunity and ability to chase their dreams. They may fail or it may not work for them but at least, they will never look back and wonder ‘what if?’.

8.       GIVING UP AND LETTING GO ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

 Every single day, we experience challenges, frustrations and obstacles that seem to be without doors or windows. At times, we feel like we are at the end of our rope and we have no other choice than to give up. Life has taught me that giving up is not an option but we can choose to let go. To give up is to accept failure and do nothing but to let go is to allow yourself energy to proceed to, and tackle the next obstacle in front of you. You don't want to exhaust yourself on something that would not serve you. Being attached to anything wont free up the space for other opportunities. I have learnt that everything happens 'for us' and not 'to us' and if a way through an obstacle poses difficulty, then get to find other ways. There's under, over and around. There is always another way so don't give up but at the same time, dont waste your time on things that wouldn't serve you in the long run. 

9.       CONFIDENCE IS THE NEW SEXY

Gone are the days when looks alone were attractive. Yes! That tiny black top, flowery pants, heels and make up can make me feel really sexy, but life has taught me that the sexiest thing about me, doesn’t need to have a colour or a shape, mustn't be touched or held, but can certainly be felt and that is 'Self confidence'. I used to have very little confidence in my self but I have learnt that self confidence is simply self acceptance: checkout my new tag. When you know who you are, and you embrace and accept yourself just the way you were made, develop the inner strength to believe in who you are, own your body and keep in mind a positive view of yourself, then you can boldly say I Am Sexy!!

10.   STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

I spent most of my years comparing myself with others (usually people with more energy and ability than I had), especially at secondary school during talent shows and award days lol. I even tried to emulate one or two people I admired but ended up with disastrous results. I realised that the only life I could live was mine and the only work I can do is mine. It is because we are all different that we are special so stop comparing and start loving yourself.

11.   ANGER NEVER SOLVES ANTHING, IT ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE

Getting angry is completely normal but letting it get a hold of you is destructive. I have noticed and learnt that almost always, being angry hurts you more than the other thing or the other person. So, when we get angry, we waste our own time and energy because we rarely achieve our intentions which are usually to make the other person feel as bad as or worse than they made us feel, but it never works out that way and it doesn’t solve any problem. So, its best to stop wasting much time and energy being angry and channel the time and energy into something more productive

12.   NOT ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD

Mother always recited this famous proverb to us when we were little but I never fully understood its meaning till I was about 12 and had to start going to the market. Most times, I'd been deceived into buying fruits and vegetables in cartons only to get home discovering that the large glossy ones at the top were hiding the small rotten ones at the bottom all along. The same goes for people. A lot of focus and attention is giving to how we are on the outside rather than how we are on the inside. This is not to say that displaying ones dirty laundry is good, but we are well trained at putting on a good face even when the inside might not be as good. I have learnt that beauty is only skin deep. When we fail to look beyond the surface in terms of someone's face, fame, titles wealth and material worth, then we certainly can be deceived very much like buying those fruits and vegies, only to find the rotten ones below.

13.   MONEY IS GOOD BUT IT DOESNT BUY HAPPINESS

Over the years, I have heard a lot of stories where people make a lot of money, become famous, travel round the world and get the best of life’s possessions. I have also heard of stories where people build a lot of wealth, fame, power, luxury and yet, commit suicide. I have come to the realization that money can certainly buy a position but not respect, it can buy a bed but not sleep, it can buy you a clock but not time, a book but not knowledge, medicine but not health, sex but not love, blood but not life. Money is good but it isn’t everything. Its best to set your priorities right according to your believes.

14.   BEAUTY IS OFTEN FOUND IN THE MOST UNEXPECTED PLACES

      A lot of us believe that we have to go all the way out or travel long distances in other to find our blessings, beauty or that which we desire. We fail to look around and within us to appreciate the simple things because we are in search of better things. Sometimes we pray for God to send us the right people or the right things not knowing they are just right there beside us, behind us, in front  or even within us. Sometimes, the treasures we seek are just an inch away from us if only we can open our eyes and look around us.   

15.   YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK

         I'm usually not one who does a lot of workouts or exercise especially considering the fact that I have no weight to burn lol. On this particular day, I had slept over at a friend's and I was woken up for a jog. Along the road, there was a fairly steep hill that takes about a minute to sprint up at full speed. My friend ran up and jogged down repeatedly, asking that I do it thrice. I had tried once, but at that point, my legs and lungs were crying for mercy. I felt sure that my body could no longer run a single more step. Just as I was about calling it a day, a little girl from across the other side of the road came running up the hill and down repeatedly. In that moment, I was gingered and decided to complete mine as it was quite a shame. Quite an insignificant moment, but I learnt something; even as I was sure I was physically spent, I found deeper reserves of strength left to tap. I wondered what else my mind could have been lying about. It turns out that we all have deep wells of strength that we may never even know exists as they are closely guarded by our brain that would rather loaf than take you to the next level. But don't be decieved, you are physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than you think. 

16.   STAY IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE

Life has taught me that giving people the power over your life either by making your own decisions, taking your own  responsibilities, influencing your actions or reactions, simply makes you an instrument to them. No one can provoke you or make you unhappy without your permission. Everything you do or everything that happens in your life is your responsibility so stop blaming, complaining or criticizing and accept full responsibility whether you caused anything or not. Taking responsibility for your life will empower you, foster success and heighten self esteem, all of which can lead to increased happiness.

17.   A STEP AT A TIME, LIFE IS NOT A RACE

I have learnt that life is not a race but a journey and the destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. So therefore, direction is better than speed. Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been but also where you are going. It is not a race, there is no need to compete It is a journey to be savored each step of the way.

18.   NEVER USE YOUR PAST TO JUDGE YOUR FUTURE

  

A lot of times, we tend to dwell on our past for different reasons and the longer we dwell on our past, the less future we have to live in. Life has taught me that no matter how dirty our past may be, our future is spotless. We are not defined by our past but prepared by it. So, never use your past to detect or judge your future. Just because you failed in the past doesn't mean you'll fail in the future that is why it is ahead of us and not behind us.

19.   SELF CONCEPT MATTERS A LOT

 How you view/see yourself, not just in the mirror, determines  how you will experience life. If you see yourself in a positive and healthy light, your life experiences will be positive and healthy. It does not mean, of course, that your life would be free of challenges and adversity, just that you would have a healthier approach to dealing with them. If your opinion of yourself is shaky and fragile, you will find life's challenges overwhelming. 

20.   IT DOES'NT MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FALL

As humans, we are bound to fall. Falling down is inevitable as life is a journey full of obstacles, but rising back on your fit is a choice that only you can make. Its either you get stuck on the fall and stop trying, or you cry a little, get back up and try again. I've learnt that the ups and downs of life are what makes it valuable. Battling through the tough times makes you a stronger person, challenging you to rise and conquer. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself or laying down in pity each time you fall, turn the negative feeling into a motivation and bounce back on your feet. Life must go on weather you like it or not so you best rise up and keep moving.

21.   GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO DONT WAIT

I used to believe the quote that 'good things come to those who wait' but I think what it actually means is that 'good things come to those who wait on the lord', not to those who wait for the right opportunity, permission from others, until everything is perfect or until they have the time. Waiting to take action is just another excuse for inaction and wont get you any where. I have learnt that when ever I take action, the right opportunities present themselves and they are often better than I imagined. I only need to give myself permission to do my best work. So if you have a dream, an idea, a vision or an opportunity, start now and not when all your ducks are in a row because good things come to those who don't wait. 

22.  LIFE DOESN'T COME WRAPPED WITH A BOW BUT IT'S STILL A GIFT

Yes life can sometimes be harsh, rough, tough and unfair but its still a gift given to us by God so we have to cherish it and be grateful for it because, not everyone gets the chance to stay alive. Every challenge or adversity I've been faced with, the mistakes and lessons, have helped shaped me into who I am today and I thank God for them all. I have a lot to learn. If I've learnt anything, its that I know almost nothing and that I am often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me and I am looking forward to learning them all.

Thanks for reading.

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Photo Credit: The talented chidi Lex. Follow him on instagram @thelexash and checkout his Blog.

Make Up: By my beautiful Ufeli Ajeka. Follow her on instagram @monettesbeauties.