Febuary post: RANDOMLY RANDOM WITH TOIN!!!

Hey guys!

Its the 15 for 15 monthly challenge again! and for this month, we have the beautiful Toin, popularly known as toinlicious in the house today. She's one of the coolest bloggers I know. Her blog posts are usually randomly random, yet very captivating and absorbing. I love the way she spices up her content with humor, whilst still stating her point and having her messages spot on.

I am really excited and pleased to have you in the house today Toin, and I would love to start by saying thank you for being my guest.

Now unto the questions of the day:

1) How would you describe yourself in five words? 

Bubbly, chatty, adventurous, resourceful and intelligent.

2) Any interesting childhood memories/experiences? 

Oh, this interview would be longer than it should if I start on that but erm maybe the day I locked myself in my dad's wardrobe because I wanted to eat biscuit without his consent would be one.

3) What was the strangest punishment your parents ever gave you? 

My parents aren't "punishers". My dad is more of a talk-your-ears-off-so-you'll-learn-your-lesson type while my mom was the one-smack-to-reset-you type

4) What's a typical day for you like? 

For weekdays, very boring I tell you. I wake-up and I always try to get more sleep, eventually force (yea, force) myself out of bed. I get ready for work, get to work, do my bit, get back home, cook, watch or read something then sleep. Then I do it all over again. Oh, and I'm that girl who dances in the car while driving (I promise I'm not crazy...well, not too crazy...just a lil bit)

5) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

 Procrastination

6) What are the three things you cannot live without? 

Love, friends and family. They are mostly mutually exclusive.

7) What's your take on first impressions? Is it okay to judge at first or nah?

 Nah. I've had some not very good first impressions and I'd like to have a re-do so yea, judge not.

8) Has any movie or book made a huge impact on you? If yes, Which and how? 

Way too many. I started reading when I was like 10years old.

9) Which are 3 physical features you often get complimented on?

 In trying to keep it clean, i'll say the Lips, smile and hair.

10) What has been the highlight of the year so far? 

A project that had been on my neck and i was able to complete it last week.

11) What's the best and worst gift you've ever gotten? 

The best gift I have at the moment is the gift of love and family.

12) What would you do if you won a lottery? 

I'll scream *akpos' voice* their father!!!!

13) A lot of people say different things about marriage. What's your take? 

I'm not married so I'd rather learn from those who are.

14) What are your thoughts about Nigeria? 

Depressing but hopeful.

15) What's your most embarrassing moment? 

Lool Please I'm not about to out myself on here. We'll do this in camera, thanks.

16) Would you rather regret doing something or not? 

Not. I'd rather do than regret not doing.

I guess that would be all for today. Thank you Toin, it was nice having you on board :)

Toin is a Nigerian blogger who's all about love, life, humor and inspirations.

Follow her @Toinlicious.blogspot.com for more of those and,

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. :)

WHO SAYS I'M DISABLED???

I usually love living for work quite early in the morning (earlier than I normally should) because for some reason, I get really motivated starting my day early. More so, because I always find this really inspiring man along the express who happens to be a differently-abled man who works (sells things) without actually walking.

Each time I see him, I can't help but stop to purchase some of his items as that is the only way I get the opportunity to speak with him a little. Someday however, after I had built a little rapport with him and known his name to be Abdul, I decided to ask a little about him and he told me he comes from a poor family of three siblings that struggle to make a living and survive somewhere around Gudu. Although he is physically challenged, he has to walk on boards with tires. He told me that being physically challenged is a tough thing to deal with in everyday life but, over the years, he has adjusted to it. This determined young man has committed to overcome his physical challenges and look to his abilities rather than his disability in order to assist his family in pulling themselves out of poverty and improving their living standards.

Having chatted with him a little, it reminded me of Spencer West's story, a very inspiring story of a man who managed to scale one of the highest peaks on the planet using just his hands as he had lost his legs when he was just five years old. But regardless of his physical limitations, he was able to reach the summit of the 19,341ft high Mt. Kilimanjaro after a slow, gruelling and awe-inspiring trek.

These made me realize that the real disability isn't that of the body, but of will and determination. A lot of us move about competently, indulge in all activities possible, experience little or no difficulty living our lives or going about our daily activities yet, we are DISABLED when faced with obstacles and challenges. We lack the drive and the will power to persevere through hardship. We slowly begin to feel the weight, gradually get depressed and eventually throw in the towel. Some even go as far as committing suicide. Why? Because they lack the will power, faith and determination required to keep them moving when life decides to knock them down or perhaps, cripple them. They are the ones that are in fact disabled, not the ones we see on the streets in clutches and wheel chairs trying to make ends meet or make the best of what life throws at them. Not the ones using their physical limitations as an inspiration not only to those who are physically challenged like them, but to us who are even able bodied humans. As I grow older, I have come to the realization that disability is a thing of the mind. I have also come to the realization that one isn't truly handicapped until he gives up. There is no life without obstacles, challenges, hardship, mountains, walls and barriers. Sometimes, it presents us with the worst possible condition/situation but what do we do whilst being in that condition? How do we turn our misfortunes into motivations? how do we use our negative experiences to impact into the lives of others positively or our failures to create a success story? These are things we really should ask ourselves because life would always hit us hard. We may lose our eyes, our hands, our voices or even our legs but  we still have our HEARTS/ MINDS which can be filled with faith, perseverance, hope and determination. And if we have all those, then who says we are disabled?
      
Enjoy the rest of your week. :)

VANILLA LOUNGE: WEDDINGS GALORE!!!!

Hey guys,

How have you been? I feel like I've been away for so long that I couldn't even remember my password for a bit  *covers face*. I had to try about three different ones before it finally clicked. *whew!* I guess sometimes, life can be so busy you barely have time to keep up with blogging and other social media. Anyways, I'm here now. So tell me, how was your weekend? I hope you all did something fun? I turned up most times in my bed, did a bit of work and hung out with friends.

On Saturday after work, my colleague who happens to be a "soon to be" bride, decided we both attend the weddings galore Nigerian wedding exhibition organized by a friend, Mitu, at the Vanila lounge Abuja

We got there for 4pm and we were given different numbers for the raffle draws. I was 59 and my colleague was 60. We were also given some gift bags and information packs.

I love the theme 'love is sweet'

There were loads of wedding accessories, luxury gift items, bridal wears, rings and jewelry, aso-ebi, makeup artists, photo booths, photography, cakes and desserts, event planners, decorators, health and fitness, home furnishings, florists and much more. There were also live entertainments, a mini fashion show, photo shoots and great prizes to be won.

This was dope though. I can just picture him in this :D.

I got to meet various local and international wedding vendors, music artists, interior decorators, florists, models and event planners.

I met Chinedu whom I knew from camp. He was one of my platoon leaders and he really wanted me to run for miss nysc but I ended up being the make up artist instead lol.

Fortune (colleague) and I

I met Hannah. she's such a good dancer and she said I looked so cute! *blushing*

The beautiful couple models.

He was just sooooo good with the sax. I couldn't help but compliment him

such a model and a half

I met Joanne Okpa. she's such a talented young lady. Her cakes were amazing. I just couldn't get enough.

Frank and I

There were also free dinners and vacation raffle giveaways. My friend and I won a free interior decoration consultation for our matrimonial homes lol ( I've got a long way to go though).

We got to purchase some of the Ankara bags and we were introduced to the ultimate body applicator which is actually a body contouring cream-induced cloth that can be wrapped around the part of the body with much fat like the tummy, underarm, thighs and much more. Apparently, it works effectively but I'm so skinny at the moment and so I didn't see the need to get one for myself but if you are looking to contour any part of your body, then I think you might want to get one for yourself or for friends. Its 20k per pack but its worth the price I guess.

Ultimate body applicator.

I loved the color combo here

And this was just too cute to be by passed.

There was a free makeover session which I really wanted to partake in, but there wasn't enough time for two trials and so my friend had to take the last slot.

Bridal makeover.

Makeup artist.

I really did enjoy the galore/exhibition (even though I know I'm not getting married anytime soon), and I met some of my friends from camp, met some really good caterers, bead makers, artists, models, interior designers/decorators and musicians, ate some good food and got some gift items. I also got quite a lot of contacts for future purposes, so I don't have to stress much when the wedding bells start ringing lol. I cant wait for the next one to be organized. Hopefully, it would be when the ring is already fitted beautifully on this finger *wink*

On a more serious note though, planning a wedding isn't easy at all. I mean, after seeing the things I saw, chatting with the brides and grooms to be, father and mother in-laws to be, I could not but utter a loud wow!. It aint easy coming up with a plan as there's just so much it entails, starting from a budget to a guest list, to the decorations, the venue, food & drinks, bridal wears, the train and much more.

Have you ever organised or planned a wedding? Was it stressful planning it and making sure everything went well? please gist me, I'll d really love to know. :D

REVIEW: A MONTH WITHOUT COFFEE!!

Hey guys

How has your week been so far? I hope you all enjoyed your valentine's day? mine was pretty full of surprises. I received a bouquet, some Ankara's, four boxes of chocolate and a perfume. All thanks to Mrs Hadiza my favorite client, James and my hot chocolate.  I went out bowling, after which, I had dinner with some friends. How did you spend yours? I'd love to know in the comment box below. 

Remember my 2015 monthly challenge? Well, for my first "month of Living Without", I gave up coffee. Now that was quite tough for me at first, as I was faced with having to make and serve coffee to clients but not to taste. I was tempted severally, but with time, it was pretty easy to overcome. All I had to do was tell some people about it and find a great replacement habit that I actually did enjoy. So, Instead of focusing on sacrificing the coffee, I focused on drinking a lovely cup of tea each morning. I discovered three types of tea I liked during my "no coffee days"

Noni tea

Kisubi tea

Green tea

My best was green tea. I usually had it without milk but honey and it usually did taste like coffee to me. I was grateful to be able to drink such good tea, and so the coffee wasn't even much of a concern.

So my first month of Living Without wasn't that difficult, though I did learn a few things:

I really thought I would have had a harder time making and offering coffee to clients whilst not having any to myself, which was so for the first two/three days but later got so easy. I guess I had focused more on the fact that I was trying to sacrifice coffee for the month rather than find something else to occupy my mind. It wasn't difficult at all (after the first two days)

The only time I had a little urge was when my colleague had made one for herself and offered to make me one as well. But the urge wasn't so strong  

The stronger urge came when we had gathered together for a meeting and cookies were served alongside coffee. I had it right in my face and I just couldn't take those cookies without sipping something at least. I eventually resisted after a tough battle between my mind and my throat, drank some water from the dispenser across the room and I was good to go.

What I have learnt from this is that: we actually anticipate more suffering than there would be when we have to give up something we love so much or make a switch/change from a certain habitual lifestyle to another. It happens to me a lot. Most times, in the past, I loved to do things routinely, always scared of changing my routines or trying something new, always scared to step out of my comfort zone and all sorts. But this basically teaches us that anything is possible as long as you make up your mind and put in some effort.

Having a better replacement habit/routine makes it much, more easier. When you focus on the sacrifice, you subject your self to suffering mentally. But when you focus on the good side/good thing you’re getting instead, it’s wonderful.

Urges are only temporary. They come for some time and then fade away after a short time. But it all depends on you and your thoughts. If you get an urge, its up to you to find something to distract your self or dwell on the thought. Which ever one you decide to do, determines if you would succumb or overcome.

Lastly, speaking to a few people about your intention to abstain from a certain urge, habit or lifestyle can really help you overcome. Having told a few colleagues helped keep me in check. Though some of them intentionally tried tempting me as they knew how much I liked taking coffee in the mornings.

In a nutshell, giving up coffee for a month wasn't so hard at all especially because I found some tea replacements. Most times in life, when we think we can't do certain things or do without them, we find out that those are only excuses we give ourselves from stepping out of our zones and most times when we step out, we find out new things about ourselves, things we never knew existed within us, things we thought we could never do. I wouldn't have discovered those tea flavors if I hadn't abstained or searched for a replacement or would I?

The question is: would I continue with coffee or nah? I think I love the idea of tea in the mornings. Though, sometimes, I might just take a cup or two of coffee a week.

The next on the list of "a month without" would be junks. This would definitely be a lot harder but you never can tell. Let's see how it goes.

Enjoy the rest of your week. :)

To Love or Be Loved? By Duru Adolphus Jnr.

Pre-Script: Happy Valentines day #TeamSophsInspiration and #YncGang.... Wishing y'all the best Cupids day ever. Okay so regardless of the fact that I am not a normal human being, i am supposed to be as normal as I can be on this post.... So **In my Onyibo Accent yeah... Amma do ma best... Wish me luck fam... **wears Mr. Nigeria smile...

**walks in wearing a Black Tuxedo and a bow tie looking all civil and co-ordinated.... Good morning everybody, hope you guys are doing well? Trust y'all are ready for the lovers day?! Mehn scratch that.. Turn Up Turn Up ladies and Gentlemen, wat gwan fam? Whats popping? Whats the 411 gang? Hope you guys are ready for the most Mushy Mushy day in the world? Mmmeeeehnnnn i can only imagine whats going down now in France oh, the ci'R'y of love... looks for Clara... Egbon any gist for us? **shines teeth. So I am uber excited to be writting for the beautiful 'Sophie toh sure', as she is by all standards one of the coolest bloggers I have met in all my blogging career, and her blog posts are ever inspiring and fun to read. **whispers Oya lemme confess.. When the idea came up for us to write on eachothers blogs (unedited by the actual blog owner) yeah, I was overly uber excited about her writting on my blog, that i immersed myself in the ghen ghen excitement and paid little attention to the fact that i was writing for her also, well thats how one feels when someone who inspires him greatly does such a ghen ghen move... It leaves him loyal, amazed and humbled **shines teeth. So lets do this... **Waves at Tuke Morgan... Bubba i am a mega fan oh... Heard so much about you and its official, i wanna be like thee when i grow up... **waves at Cassie Davies... Bubba, your smile is out of this world... CHOI each time i hook up on your blog ehn, i am always immersed in your beauty.. CHISOS... Anefer hexsperred it fa., plus i still plan to come steal your ghen ghen camera oh :) . So fam... Leggo...

In my Young and Confused head, i am learning that Love is a beautiful thing... Hard to understand, harder than coconut to explain, and tough to find like fuel in Nigeria during the yuletide season.... However it is easy to fall into, to be misunderstood, and to be confused for other things... However, one of the things that i know i have learnt about love in my 23 years 3 months and 3 days of existence is that Love is more of a choice than an emotion as 1 + THE ONE taught me... Funny thing yeah, is that life has taken me to so many places, bringing me to the feet of lots of beautiful ladies; some i have craved for, some i have infactuated for, some i have felt butterflies in my stomach for at the initial stage just to realise it were the worms in my stomach singing Hallelujah hymns out of hunger, some i have said to myself with utmost confidence "This is the one, the Ying for my Yang"... Mehnn how confused and delusional I have being... The truth is sincerely yeah, i dont think i have ever been in true love before, cause i am learning that for one to truly be in love ehn, he has to both LOVE AND BE LOVED at the exact same time... And since i am a 'Johnny just come', abi A 'Johnny Never come' sef on the above subject matter, i am constantly told by elder colleagues and mentors that when it happens (A man is in love) everything would be perfect... His world would stop spinning and everyone would freeze and matter less to him except the woman who causes him to feel so special.. :) I guess either me or my mentors are watching too much Onyibo film? **wears straight face.

Truth is regardless of my shenanigans and woman wrapper nature I see myself as a very vulnerable young man.. Like a tender piece of glass, and no matter how much of a gangster or player player i try to act, i know deep within me, i am a confused softie. **whispers Truth is thats how most guys are, like a coconut... Scared of being hot, used, miscontrued and all... But upon hitting 20, i made a decision to kick off my shoes, stop waiting for love to come my way, but to rather go out there, find love and dance like no one was watching... I decided to let go of my fear and choose to Love rather than be scared of being hurt... Yep... I chose to love.

So the kicker question of this post is :

To love or be loved, which is more important to you?

Well I for one will tell you that to me, I prefer to Love and I care less if I am not loved in return... strange ba?! Well i have in the past learnt that; waiting to be sure that someone loves me before i give my heart fully, or going around seeking love is like chasing a christmas chicken on the run, so I have decided within me to Love freely and openly regardless of if a mutual level of emotion is being shown back... Why? Cause I dont believe in forever, i believe that i have so little time here, so why waste it waiting to be loved, when I could easily can go out there and love someone fully. I know its a risque kinda life i live, but its my confused view of life.

So up to you fam... Whats your perspective?! Whats your choice, which is more important? To love or be Loved? cause in all sincerity, and through my Young and Confused eyes; only about 12 percent of the worlds population actually are previledged to Both love fully and be loved fully...

Cheers fam, and do have a ghen ghen Valentines day celebration.... Turn down for what bikonu? Only turn up ohhhh.... Cause in the year 2015 yeah, Turning Down is a sin punishable by 100 strokes of koboko...

Thank you for the past 7 minutes of your time great young minds, you do us a great honor with it. My prayer for you today February the 14th and always is that you shall be loved stupidly by the one you sheepishly love, and that you shall be all smiles all the way, today and always. You guys are our why...

P.S: Shoutout to Ms Janyl Benyl and all members of The YnC gang who made it up here, you guys are MVP's biko... And JdB goes..... Oooossshhhey!

P.P.S: The beautiful and AMAZING Sophie put up an Exchange post on The Young and Confused Blog ( which i am a confused part of) and its up right now. Kindly do well to show us both some love.. **wears Puppy smile.

P.P.P.S: This must be the shortest post i have done all my life, Chisos...i nefer Hexsperred it fa... I am shocked that I could write this length. Oh well, that is what ghen ghen Sophie does to a guy, makes him do great things he never thought possible. Thank you for having me Bubba, you do me a great honor. You Rock...

#Udo #ItcanonlybeGOD.

JUST DO IT by WINSTON!!!

Hey guys,

I hope you've all had a good week so far? If you haven't, just hang in there and stay put. Saturday will definitely make up for it *wink*. I hope you guys have started preparing your valentine packages or better still, strategizing your movements and activities because, women don't like to hear stories and so do men (even though they like to form gangstar lol). Anyways, if you haven't thought of, or you are still thinking of ideas, you could check out my inspirations for valentine and hopefully, it might be of help. By the way, Duru and I decided to put up a guest post on each others blog on valentines day with regards to the theme of the season "love" so yeah, please look out for those.

last weekend, I attended my first club meeting at toastmasters for 2015 and as usual, it was great. For the first time, I actually went out to speak even though it was just for a minute or two. Some table topic questions were asked and one of them was unexpectedly thrown at me. My question was this "which is better, Money or possessions?". I obviously went for possessions even though I struggled with explaining and expressing my self due to some stage fright (I guess). I was evaluated by the congregation and some of the evaluations were as follows:

You stayed on the subject matter and did a good job. Your voice can be increased

You tried, you spoke very well

Good day, very short speech, you can still improve

Sophie, well done on your speaking. Try to move to the center of the stage and make eye contact

You have a good presentation. You need to overcome your shyness. You obviously are a great speaker in the making

I think you are amazing.

On the other hand, three toast masters were to present their speeches, and one of them was Winston. He had been a member of toastmasters for a year and some months and so it was his 10th speech.

Having known winston for years, I would say he is a good public speaker but having heard his 10th speech, I was left speechless. He had grown from being "good" to "great", that he won the best speech of the day. I took a video of him because, his content and delivery were spot on. It couldn't have been any better. Unfortunately, the video was too large to be uploaded and so, I decided to share his speech.

JUST DO IT!

“A legendary hero is usually one who founds something; a founder of a new path, founder of a new religion, founder of a new city, founder of a new venture. In order to found something new, one has to leave the old and go on a quest of the seed idea, a germinal seed that will have the potential to bring forth that new thing”

Madam President, Distinguished Toastmasters, Good Afternoon!

In 1988, one of the most successful companies in the world got catapulted into a new realm of success and financial influence. They went from making a gross income of $877 million to about $9.2 Billion dollars in just about 10 years.

What did they do differently? They didn’t have to change their product line or launch new products.. Nah, they did none of that. They took out three words and coined out, a strap line, a trade mark that speaks to a large chunk of the people in the world today.

We live in a world full of procrastinators, people always waiting for that right time… hence this came up with this slogan; “JUST DO IT” –Nike

And so today I have titled my speech “JUST DO IT”

It is very difficult to bring something from thought to action, which is why Joseph Campbell defined the person who can do this as a LEGENDARY HERO.

Ladies and Gentlemen, trapped inside every one of us is that germinal seed that can make us legendary heroes.

It is a shame however, that today, we have more thinkers and few doers. It is a shame that there are so much greatness locked up inside each and every one of us, most of which can change the world, only and only if we are willing to let them out. Sadly, people are either waiting for the right time, that they miss the opportunity to change the world, and whilst some might get another chance to do it, a lot of people spend a life time waiting for their own 2nd chance.

The late Myles Munroe, a man so blessed discovered this and hence, he said and spent most of his life preaching about destiny and purposeful living. He believed that, trapped in every one was something great as well. That is why he coined this quote which I have paraphrased “the grave yard is the wealthiest place on earth because buried there are songs that were never written nor sung, books that were never written nor published, ideas that were never heard nor implemented, kind words that were never spoken to those who need to hear them, businesses that were never done”

Now let’s imagine for a second that Dr. Munroe died without telling us this, would we have thought about this?

The late founder and Chairman Emeritus of Mary Kay Cosmetics in her biography titled “Miracles do happen”, defined 4 kinds of people who live in the world today.

 Those who make things happen

 Those who watch things happen

 Those who wonder what happened

 Those who don’t even know anything happened

What category of these people do you belong to presently?

What category of these people would you want to belong to?

Sometimes, the people in the 2nd category who end up sitting to watch things happen are those who missed their turn and time to make things happen, because they just couldn’t do it. They are in fact the most dangerous people you find out there, because their hearts are filled with jealousy and rage, and if they have their way, they won’t let you do it, so you can be like them.

The most dangerous people you find today are the people who have missed their turn, they are the ones who have missed the opportunity to make the right choice and DO something. And guess what?, they would sometimes stop at nothing but to see you also make that mistake.

At the end of 2015, perhaps in 20, 30, 40 or 50 years’ time, when you look back at your life, what category would you like or love to belong to?

What legacy would you live behind?

The life you have now, is as a result of the decisions you made yesterday, hence the life and legacy you will have tomorrow will be as a result of the life, decisions and choices you make today. This therefore means that, all you have to carve that future for yourself is nothing but the FIERCE URGENCY OF NOW.

I can say with some degree of certainty that in this room presently, there great songs that have not been heard, there are great books that have not been written because a lot of us here like myself, are still waiting for the right time, and some of us have already missed that time without even knowing it.

Jeff Bezos the founder of the world’s largest online market place “AMAZONS”, came up with what he called “REGRET MINIMISATION FRAMEWORK”. He says when faced with two life changing options, project yourself to the end of your life and imagine you are looking back and asking yourself “which choice minimizes the amount of regret I have?”

Once you find that option, you will regret the least and take it even if you fail…..

This was what helped him when he decided to resign from Wall Street and start up an online company selling only books, and today, he is worth over $35 Billion. “JUST DO IT”

Procrastination is not just about your goals actions or wealth; it is also about your words...

How often do you look to the people in your life who matter the most and tell them just how much you love and appreciate them.

Do you just think they know about this?

I think I can say that many relationships have been broken (including marriages) because either partner or participant was not as verbal and vocal about how they felt towards the other. Even things as little as a compliment, (your partner does something which you really appreciate, but you just cannot compliment them, even though you are thinking about it).We all love being appreciated and recognized. This is very evident in Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.. Why keep waiting? JUST DO IT!

The older I get, the more I realise that you cannot take life or moments for granted, as you could find yourself crying over something you could have, would have, should have said or done that you didn’t. Hence, it is clearer now that people can deal better with death than they can with regret. I would like to end my speech today with a story of something that happened to me last year. It is a story that has made me begin to challenge myself to be more verbal.

On the 17th of April 2014, a day which began as bright and usual as other days took a different twist by 6pm. An uncle of mine, perhaps my most favourite had gone out with his 2 beautiful kids to play lawn tennis (a sport he loved so much and always played)…

He later took them back home at night fall so they could eat and get ready for bed, but he decided to play for just a little longer. At the court, he slumped and died and he never made it back home but was taken to the hospital and by 4 am his remains had been deposited in the morgue.

It is one incident I never recovered from till date. When I was asked to eulogize him, I could hardly summon the words to say. I began to think of the good old days we spent together and the times we shared. Memories flashed to and fro. I even remembered calling him on his last birthday and asking for my own cake… they all seemed to be pleasant memories.. But one thing still made me weep like a baby, I never got to tell him how much I loved, and appreciated him…

I could say it out by his casket a lot of times, but I am sure I would have given anything to see the smile on his face when I said it to him whilst he was alive.

I thought a lot about it, but I was not as verbal about it. And then I ended up saying those things ABOUT him, but not TO HIM

There is nothing as sad as the sad memories of a lost opportunity, and I have come to believe that most people still go through this today, assuming that you have tomorrow when all you have for sure is RIGHT NOW.

Express that love right now,

Sing that song right now,

Write that letter right now,

Give your ice breaker right now,

Join toastmasters right now,

Make that career choice right now,

Apply for that exam right now,

Give that apology right now

Accept that apology right now

Because the next second is not guaranteed, therefore STOP PROCRASINATING, & JUST DO IT.

WHEN I WORKED AT A CARE HOME!!!

Morning guys,

I hope you all had a chilled weekend. I was opportune to spend some time with my neighbor's grandparents yesterday and it sorta reminded me of my volunteering days in a care home at Nottingham.

I still remember the first day I got there and the thoughts that ran through my mind. "Life is such a circle; you start off as a baby and then end up as a baby" people moving about in wheel chairs, drawing and coloring, singing to themselves, getting fed, washed and dressed, wearing pampers and all other baby activities. My initial intention to become a volunteer at the care home was mainly for CV purposes but on getting there, it turned out there was more than just getting a recommendation and a certificate. There were Experiences to be gained and lessons to be learnt.

Birthday celebration.

I usually went to the care home twice or trice a week depending on how tight my school schedule was. I would normally go there on wednesdays, fridays and saturdays. Most times, I would serve them their meals, feed them, take them out on a stroll, give them a change of clothes, take them shopping on weekends, clean out their closets, play Dominos with them or just have a long talk with them. In the midst of all my doings, I developed a connection with them. I learnt their names, knew their rooms, knew who liked sugar and who dint, knew who liked spicy and who dint, knew their backgrounds and most importantly, knew their adult hood tales and experiences. Rob was my favorite followed by Barbara. 

Rob was a very active and smart man even at his old age. He was a chock full of advice. After all, he had quite an incredible life. He had been married for over 60 years and was blessed with 3 beautiful children, whose pictures he always had on his Tv in his room. He loved music and sports and also loved playing Dominos with me. One thing he said to me was this: Age is not just a number, it's a badge of all my life experiences,". He shared some of his life experiences with me and taught me some lessons:

Everyone has too many clothes. Wear what you have and quit buying more.

Education is important, but not necessary. Life can be an education in itself.

Find something comical in every single situation.

Don't ever be afraid to be your true self.

Your family is the most precious thing you will ever have in life.

Drink milk every day. Its the best supplement.

Never be too good to start at the bottom.

Having a "not so good" job is better than having no job at all.

Love is not always easy; sometimes you have to work at it.

Don't spend more money than you make.

Exercise every single day, even when you don't feel like it.

Life is a gift that you must unwrap. It's up to you to determine if what's inside will lead you to happiness or dismay.

Barbara on the other hand, was an Adorable and Amazing woman. She was married for several years to Bob who was also at the care home until he passed away (rest on Bob). 

I still remember when the news of his death was broken to her. " Hey Barbara, my name is Razah. I am so sorry, we just lost Bob. Accept my condolence". We just lost Bob? That's not true! *cries out loud* he was just here some minutes ago! why did he have to live me all by myself? *cries out louder* and then after some minutes, she goes "who are you? ". She was suffering from some amnesia and was struggling with remembrance. I felt sad that no matter how many times I came to talk with her or play with her, she would never remember my name. But the beauty about Barbara to me was that, the brain surgery that erased part of her memory, did not touch her soul.

Barbara loved God. The one thing she never stopped saying was "God saved me". And a story that never left her memory was that of her brain surgery and how God saved her.

She taught me that the only love that never fades is that of God. Men will love you, women will love you but the difference between God's love and that of man is that it is everlasting and sure. It is of the soul and not just the brain and the heart. Always seek God's love first for every other love is transient.

Looking back at my care giving experience, I can say I felt a sense of accomplishment and growing independence of being able to take care of the elderly ones. I felt a sense of belonging to the old and learned to appreciate the present. Lastly, and most importantly, I was able to take care of someone I cared about and show my compassion where it mattered the most.

INSPIRATIONS FOR VALENTINE!!!

Hey guys,

My colleague shaped  this for me.:)

Its that time of the year again; "the love season" and with it comes special gifts and ideas. Being that the elections have now been postponed and the movements unrestricted, I guess the list of ideas would no longer be limited to indoor activities *wink* wink*. I know most people try to move from being predictable and pragmatic to adventurous and romantic. Hence, I have put together a suggestion of things/ideas you could opt or try out with your spouse this valentine.

1) CREATE A STORY

Create a book that tells a romantic story about a couple and customize the characters to that of you and your spouse. Make sure to indicate some special qualities and features of your spouse, for example, the colour of his/her eyes or hair, favorite meal, favorite colour and so on. It shows you know your spouse to an extent. Or better still, write a book about why you love your spouse and why you are thankful for him/her. It goes a long way to help focus on the things you love about your spouse, rather than focus on his/her shortcomings.  

2) ORGANIZE A SPECIAL GETAWAY.

Good thing it falls on the weekend. You could surprise your spouse with a special weekend away. Make reservations at a hotel or a bed and breakfast and just spend some good quality time together. This is really good for married couples especially as it is a great investment in marriage and it helps rekindle any quenched flames.

3) VISIT A SPA

There's nothing as soothing and relaxing as a good massage. Especially with the one you love. Even better, from the one you love. If you can't go to a SPA, then a home made massage table would do.

4) GO ON A SCAVENGER HUNT

Create some riddles and ask him/her to answer them in other to find the clues to items that you placed somewhere around your area, town or estate. The last item should give instructions that lead to your Valentine’s Day activities.

5) CHOCOLATE MESSAGES

On small pieces of paper, write down 14 reasons why you love him/her and on each chocolate, attach a reason.

6) GET A CALENDER

Buy him/her a calendar and fill it in with important dates like; our first dinner together, our four-year anniversary, birthday, favorite holiday etc..

7) GO ON A DATE

Go on a date or visit the place where you first fell in love, write down the memories from that day and exchange your lists.

8) PUT THAT RING ON IT

What day is more better than the day we celebrate love in itself?

9) MAKE A BAG OF KISSES

On small pieces of paper, write down/describe every kind of kiss that you can think of. Then fill a bag with your kisses and give it to your spouse. Ask him/her to pull several pieces of paper from the bag, and then give whatever kiss is described.

10) MAKE A MEAL

Make a meal with symbols of love like the one my colleague made above.

11) SEE A ROMANTIC MOVIE TOGETHER

After enjoying a candlelight dinner for two at home, take a shower with your spouse and watch a romantic movie. Its a really nice way to end the day.

Enjoy the 14th. But remember, love should not only be celebrated on the 14th day of February, but on every other day of our lives.

Have a nice week ahead.

THE BEAUTY IN THE STRUGGLE!!!!

It took some time but I had to learn that the true beauty of success isn't measured by what we have accomplished, but by the oppositions we have encountered and the courage with which we have maintained and overcome the struggles against all overwhelming odds.

You see, I used to be a lover of wrist watches when I was much younger, that no matter how many I had, it just never seemed to be enough. Someday however, mum and I were passing by a store and I spotted a beautiful white wrist watch that looked like an aquarium. It had something like a little liquid with some tiny looking fishes within its semblance. I begged my mum to purchase it and she said "you have enough!". But I LOVED this particular one and was ready to give up all others just to have it. Having seen the deep desire, mum said to me " well, If you really need it, you"ll get it". I dint quite understand that statement as it was obvious that I really needed it yet, we were walking past the store right as I was asking. I hoped and patiently waited for it to come, thinking she was going to bring it home someday. But after waiting in vain for weeks, I decided to let it.

One day, I noticed there had been an orange gas cylinder on the corridor leading to the children's room for days and everyone kept passing by and around it like it was a major rock to lift off the way including me. But somehow, I was in the mood to test my man power (even though I was just about 8) and so, I decided to see if I could lift it as it was quite an obstruction. Just when I had struggled and managed to lift up the cylinder, there it was, My aquarium wrist watch.

Most times, we ask God for a lot of things. We ask him for wisdom, love, courage, strength and favors yet, we avoid the obstacles, the difficulties and the struggles required to receive that which we have requested, forgetting that the very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid, are the major building blocks and stepping stones to success.

Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. For If God gave us all we wanted so easily, or allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, we would never discover the strength we have within us and We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

Remember that when we ask for Strength, God gives us difficulties to make us strong.

When we ask for Wisdom, he gives us Problems to solve.

When we ask for Courage, he gives us dangers to overcome.

When we ask for Favors, he gives us Opportunities.

We basically receive nothing we want, but everything we need.

So, embrace the beauty in the struggle for in it, you get the success you need.