A LARGER SURFACE AREA!!!

Hey darlings

Happy sunday. How was your weekend? Did you guys go out to vote? For me, I was locked in, all cuddled up in my cozy cushy bed, eating and watching movies like it was the creepy annual purge. To be honest, I could really careless about elections right now. All that matters to me, is peace and that's what we need.
                                                 

Its amazing how kids of nowadays can be so smart. I was talking to my neighbor on Friday about some certain issues that had been bothering her for some time, while we were doing our fire wood cooking outside. They are very traditional, so they do a lot of cooking with big pots and fire wood. The kids were chatting and playing around the corner, when at some point in our conversation, my neighbor said something. I don't really remember how she said it but I know she said something like 'I hate feeling broken'. One of the kids turned and said "mummy why don't you like feeling broken? You always break the fire woods into tiny bits before you use them. Isn't it because the broken ones are stronger than the bigger woods?
This made us laugh a bit but then, I saw the wisdom in the words of that 5-years old.

I remembered my chemistry class - 'a larger surface area speeds up the rate of chemical reaction" and that made me realize that sometimes, we've got to be completely broken, in other to speed up certain reactions in our lives. It is no doubt that God is closer to the heart broken, though, it may seem like he's so far away. He knows the pain, sees the tears and feels the grief. But there is another type of broken-ness. It is a broken spirit and a contrite heart. A heart devoid of pride and bitterness, a heart that appreciates His grace and sovereignty, a heart that is shattered, has surrendered and has reached the point where it says, “Lord, I am nothing without you!. This is the state of being 'completely' broken.

A testimony was once shared by my pastor at church. He said that before he became a pastor, each time he did something bad, and knew that God was mad at him, he would try to "clean up his act" by giving more, praying more, or getting busy with other religious activities, in hopes that God will finally "get over" being mad at him. But he realized that each time he prayed, it felt like his prayers dint get passed his ceiling. This went on for years. He kept getting involved in religious activities, making donations, giving arms and many more. But still, the one thing he'd been praying for, for years, never came until he realized that a contrite heart and a broken spirit was all God needed. And until he got into the state of being completely broken, his prayers were never heard nor answered.

Sometimes, we pray and wonder why our prayers aren't being answered or why there's so much delay but most times, it could be that God is only waiting for us to be in that state of broken-ness which together with a contrite heart, speeds up the rate of reaction.

My prayer today is that, He continues to give us the grace to remain in a state of complete broken-ness and when He searches, may He find our hearts contrite and ready to receive Him.

Have a nice week.

WHAT'S IN MY HANDBAG??

Hey guys,

How's everyone feeling about the elections today? I hope you all are ready to cast your votes? I was tagged by the beautiful Oyime of oyimesmusings to participate in the "what's in my bag" tag.

I've been meaning to do a post like this for some time but I thought it was best to just stick to the theme. Anyways, I'm glad it came up and I can finally share what I  'currently have' in my handbag :)  

Hand Sanitizer

I've had this sanitizer since the Ebola days and since then, I have found it an essential commodity to have in my handbag, especially when good old soap and water aren't always available when you need them.

Wallet

I've had this wallet since my first year at the university when I used to be a 'pink freak' and most of the things I had or was given as a gift, were pink. It was actually a gift given to me on my 17th birthday and it has served its purpose well till date.

Pen

I feel like it’s more hygienic to use your own pen sometimes, especially in banks or when you are on a queue. Plus, I like how the Bic pen writes. I’m not a germaphobe, I just think it’s a good idea…

Pocket tissue

Instead of hankies, I find these pretty easy to use and dispose.

Hand cream

I love having hand creams in my bag especially when the weather gets very harsh. It moisturizes my palm and kips them from feeling hard/dry. My favorite is the Atrixo which includes products specially formulated to provide long-lasting protection against external influences – keeping your hands soft and smooth.

Perfume

Apparently, this is the one accessory that best highlights the personality of a woman. For me, I always try to carry this around just for emergency cases or surprise purposes like having to go on surprise dates or unexpected events. Also, I try to treat my bag to a few spritzes so that it keeps smelling great just like its owner.

Ipad

This serves a lot of purposes for me. I take down notes on it, read my bible sometimes when I just rush off to work without reading one at home, browse, listen to music, play games when I'm bored and a lot more. Its my rescue to boredom basically.

Hand fan

With the way the Nigerian weather is at the moment, no one needs to remind me to take my hand fan with me. Its not all places that have AC so I always try to take my little mobile one along with me.

Glasses

These are basically my eyes and they are in my bag 24/7 as I cant really do without them.

Tampons/pad

I always hide away one or two tampons/pads in the small zipper section of my bag. Not only would these be helpful in an emergency, I can also give to someone who needs it.

Pain killer

I think this is one very essential commodity everyone should take along with them especially on very busy days when the stress level can get really high. Sometimes at work, I run a lot of errands, after which, I develop a bad headache and that's when this comes to my rescue. You could also give to others who might be in need.

Makeup pouch

I always take my makeup pouch where ever I go. I guess its the same for most ladies.

Deodorant

I take this sometimes, just as a substitute for my perfume or just in case I happen to find myself somewhere and I need to shower.

Camera.

I love this camera and I've had it for about four years now. As a blogger and a picture freak, it is one item you can never miss going through my handbag. I take pictures almost everyday and I doubt it's one hobby I can ever stop.

So, they say "the content of a woman's hand bag reveals the kind of person she is". May be you can tell me what kind of person I am from the list above lol.

I'm tagging

Cassie of cassiedaves
Detuke of tukesquest
Janyl of janylbenlyshares.
Launna of letters from launna
Anuoluwapo of anuoluwapoo

TOO MUCH SENRERE WITH AJEBUTTER22 -march post!!!

Hey guys

Its the 15 for 15 monthly challenge again, and for this month, we have the very fresh Kitoye Balogun, popularly known as Ajebutter 22 in the house today.

Okay so, I knew Ajebutter back at Uni when he used to come to perform but I had never met him in person until late last year, after we had just rounded up Nysc and had decided to go partying at the Bank Abuja. I was formally introduced to him by my Friend Jay baba who was also a friend to him. He was very welcoming, really cool and very jovial. We spoke for some time and I thought it'll be nice to have him featured on my blog at some point in time. Well, I guess that time is now and I am glad to have him as my interviewee for the month of march. Moving on to more interesting things.

I feel honored to have you on board today Kitoye. Please can you tell us a little about yourself?

I'm 23, Nigerian, Lagosian, a musician and entrepreneur.

 Why Ajebutter 22?

Ajebutter because I'm not a street guy and I don't want to act like I am. Besides, I think that's disrespectful and 22 is just a number I like that has stuck with me. I'm not the only ajebutter in the world so its a way to differentiate myself.

Any favorite childhood memories or memorable moments?

First time I saw my sister perform on stage in her secondary school QC, inspired me to want to get on stage and do the same.

This pretty much answers the next question but I'll still ask. What inspired you to start music?

 I was inspired by a lot of things, my sister, listening to artists like mode9, kanye, jayz and also my dad listened to a lot of hip hop and that got me into it.

Women or cars?

Women, all day everyday.

 Any loves other than music?

Yes. I love tech, I love tech start ups and businesses, I love innovation foot ball too.

What's a typical day for you like?

I don't really have a schedule. My day always changes....hardly ever the same.

 I'm sure you've performed at a couple of places. What do you think about when performing?

 I only think about the fans or the audience in front of me. I try to communicate with them and make eye contact. I want to know how much they feel me.

 Are you presently seeing anyone?

Yes.

 As an Artist, How do you handle advances from ladies?

 I like women and I like their feedback on my music, plus I know how to keep my distance when I need to do. Its usually not a problem for me.

 Did you have any resolutions for 2015? How much have you achieved so far?

 Not really I'm not a resolution guy

 Who is your celebrity crush?

 For today, it's Zainab balogun.

 What are your thoughts about the Nigerian music industry today?

Its ok I guess. People are doing their thing, a lot of artists are coming up and the turn over is very high, so is competition.

 What are some things that you can't live the house without?

 Keys, wallet, sunglases

 When was the last time you cried?

 Badman never cry

What is your favorite daily wear attire?

 Always comfortable jeans, a vintage shirt usually too big for me or something with African print and sandals or trainers or loafers

 Can you cook? What can you cook best?

Yea. My Favourite thing to make is seafood Alfredo pasta

 Do you often get nervous before or during a performance? How do you handle it?

 Like a few minutes before...never on stage by that time I'm just enjoying myself.

 What else can we expect from you in the future?

For now I'm working on a body of work, when I have a name or its ready you will know..I want to do something special for a second album. It's literally make or break

 What do you have to say to upcoming music artists?

They should work for a long time and make sure they are offering something different or unique to the industry because competition is crazy.

Thank you Mr Kitoye Balogun, it was nice having you on board :)

Akitoye is an Afro pop artist who broke out in 2012 with his hit songs, 'Serenre' and 'Omo Pastor'. He is also part of the group Soyinka's Afro with his sister Teymi B. Look out for his second album coming up soon.

Have a nice day guys.:)

STORY FOR THE gods!!!

A story we all tell ourselves at some down points in our lives. It goes like this

- I'm not good enough
- I don't have what it takes
- I'm such a looser
- I have nothing to give
- I have no gift/talent
- I don't deserve it
- I can't make it
- I can't seem to do anything right
- God doesn't love me
- No one cares
- I don't have a first class so I can't get a scholarship
- I have no school certificate hence, I can't get a job
- I'm so full of crap
- I can never love again
- My future isn't bright
- I just want to die
- I wish I was never born
- My blog sucks
- I'm not the best there is
- I'm too fat
- I'm too short
- I can never be happy without him/her
- They said I'll never get to the top
- The doctor said I wont make it
- I have no right
- I'm handicapped therefore I am different
- I can't go through this alone
- Marriage is not for me
- No one sees the good in me
- All hope's lost
- I'm not the right person for that position
- I'm addicted and I can't quit
- I'm cursed
- Life is worthless

Quit telling these stories and start professing positively.
 
Have a nice weekend.

CONFESSIONS OF A WORKING LADY!!!

Hey guys,

Sadly, the weekend is almost over. I hope you guys made it count? I actually had the cutest date yesterday, and though my fingers are seriously itching to share, I'd rather save you the long essay and focus on the subject matter of the day.

Two days ago, I received an email from a fellow blog reader saying he's been eagerly waiting for my next post. According to him, he's been following my blog for a while and seems to know that each time I haven't put up a post in some days, It's probably because I'm very occupied with work. Is this true? Hell yeah!!

You know yeah, this work life aint easy at all. It's not as it looks in films. I entered the working world officially in November 2014. I was fresh out of Otondo life (NYSC), having spent a year serving my country and preparing for my debut onto the bottom rung of the career ladder.

I was enthusiastic, excited and full of rose colored ideas about what working would be like. I mean, I had worked before, but it was only part-time jobs like care giving, tutoring, nursing, administration and summer jobs which were nothing like working full-time in an office professional setting for 340 days a year.

I remember during my student days how I always envied those who had moved from student life to working life. It just seemed like they had gone from the boring long lectures, projects and course works, all-nighters at the library, exams and all the crazy drama that came with uni, to living the good life. This is not to say that the work life isn't good, but I guess my expectations of it were a bit unrealistic, in the sense that there's more to owning an office diplomat desk, an executive chair, a desktop and a phone all in your office space.

Unlike the student life, there are some realistic realities I have encountered in the work life and they are as follows:

No such thing as summer holidays

There's no such thing as summer holidays where you force yourself to keep on working because a long break is coming up. Those month-long holidays will never happen again. You may only get a few days break. If you want to go on holiday, you have to book it out of the 25 days of annual leave you’ll have, and it’s unlikely you’ll ever get to take more than 10 days off in a row. More worse, there is no guarantee that you’ll get the whole of Easter or Christmas week off. In some jobs, you might even get roped in to work Christmas or Easter day.

You will not always rock heels and cool office clothes.

I remember when I started work newly, My vision of ‘working’ always entailed me looking like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. I thought I’d wear stylish office clothes and want to wear heels every day. You can check out my walk in heels here. I literally had to learn to work in them heels at some point but it turns out heels hurt your feet if worn for too long, and when you have to leave your bed early in the morning, all you want to do is put on warm, comfortable clothes.

You begin to pay tax.

This hurt me real bad. I never really saw that coming..well not in Nigeria I guess. I’m still not really over it yet, even though I’ve now been paying income tax for the past 5 months now. Apparently this is a percentage of your salary you have to give back and it is high for high income earners and low for low income earners.

Responsibilities Increase

Just when you think the consolation for tax payment would be that, it is the only thing you might have to bother your self about, being that you still live in your parents house and don't have to bother about rent or food, You find that you still have to contribute to the family in one way or the other. For me, I buy food stuffs, contribute in rent payment, fees payment for younger siblings/relatives and by the time I attend to my own personal list, you can only imagine what's left to be saved.

Little level of guidance.

You won't always get the level of guidance you got at school. in the work field, you are on your own. Bosses don’t have time to give you feedback for every little thing you do. It isn’t like school where everything you hand in comes back to you with an A-F grade and a feedback/comment. If you’re lucky, you will get a boss who gives you due praise and constructive criticism, but this isn't always the norm.

You've got to work late sometimes

You will be expected to stay in the office until your work is finished, and that doesn’t mean you get to come in late the next day. Even creative types, who get to start later, will finish later, and getting paid for overtime doesn't happen where I work.

Office drama is Inevitable.

When I heard my older friends discussing office drama, I thought they had decided to be a part of the drama. I was convinced that when I entered my own office, there would be no drama, and if there was, I just wouldn’t get involved. But office conflict is an inescapable part of working life, and it isn't optional especially in large organizations. You can checkout my coping strategies with female colleagues in this post. A friend once told me the best thing to do is just to maintain your lane/space but even at that, you still find those who voluntarily cross their lanes to yours. This I can only say, God help us.

A decrease in social life

At university, it was the norm to hang out often with friends, chat 24/7, go out even on weekdays, while weekends were spent recovering from the week. But in the working world, you can’t drink or party on weeknights anymore as your body won't be able to handle a hangover at work. You'll still spend your weekends recovering, but this time it's from working so hard and not from partying. Being that I work 9 hours a day, there's really no much time for social outings/social media as I usually get home tired, apart from the weekends which are usually spent resting from the busy week, attending weddings or just hanging out with friends.

So you see, the work life wasn't as easy as I imagined it to be. But with all that being said, I think I still prefer it to the student life or what do you think?

IN MY DAD'S T-shirt: GUEST POST by KACHI OPARA!!!

Hey guys,

Happy Sunday.

Today, we celebrate the birth of an absolutely lovely lady, Kachi Opara, a friend and daughter of the late Dr sam Opara who died on the 22nd of February 2015, after being abducted by unknown gunmen at Port Harcourt a few weeks ago. (May his gentle soul rest in perfect peace).

"I was packing up his clothes in his room today and I was just thinking about his passing but I just couldn't make sense of it said Kachi, during our long conversation.

This must be a typical feeling we all experience after the loss of something great and precious to us; it could be a job, a pregnancy, a relationship or even a loved one. We find our hearts, battling endlessly with our brains, trying to find answers to the very common question WHY? Why do we have to go through pain? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does God allow evil to happen? Why do good people have to die? Why does God allow temptation? Why? Why? Why? It just never makes sense to us. But I guess 1 Corinthians 10:13 says it all. "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." In essence, He can never give you more than you can bare.

Today, kachi inspires us with a little post on her birthday, in memory of late Dr Sam Opara, who wasn't only a loving husband and father, but a mentor to her. I hope this encourages and inspires anyone going through a loss in his or her life. Always remember that you are never alone. Enjoy!

In the light of recent events, I'm probably expected to celebrate this birthday with a half smile. Well, my smile may not be at its brightest, but it's definitely better than a half smile. My daddy was taken away way too soon but I'm comforted because he is probably still on a grand tour of heaven (seeing how he only just got there). At the same time, I'm grateful to God for a life well spent. Not every man gets to make the headlines upon leaving the surface of the earth, he was a loving husband, a great, funny, doting and multi-talented father and while I would have loved to receive a phone call, a text message or conversed with him in any way today, I count it all joy and a privilege to rather be thankful to God that in the last few months of his life, he was closer to God than ever before. So happy 25th to me. I know my daddy loved me and I will forever miss him. I thought to wear his favorite color today but I just realized he wore any and all colors and looked dapper every single time.

To those who might be going through some sort of loss or bereavement, I know mourning is never easy, heck! Sometimes I feel I'm in a dream and that my dad is away on a long business trip but I think it gets easier by the day. We're bound to miss their physical presence on earth but I'm able to find greater comfort in the fact that I know he is in a much better place, free from the concerns and challenges of the world. Someone recently told me that soon after the loss of a loved one, you start to experience the extraordinary by the way of more opportunities, doors of favor, blessings and unexplainable occurrences, which point to the supernatural. And when you do encounter such, it's an assurance that you're being looked after by that special someone (God). So wipe your tears and have hope for a greater future. The loss of your loved one is not a handicap, neither is it a stigma. Life only gave you lemons, so make yourself a nice tall glass of lemonade and add some ice to that.

BEHIND THE WHEELS!!!

Hey guys,

I know its pretty late but happy new month. Sorry for the little silence. This week was one hell of a busy one for me. I got home pretty late every other day and sleep was next on my agenda. I hope its been a great month so far? Well, it just has to be, its march and we are definitely matching forward to greater things this year.

Being that I'm all about inspirations, I tend to read a lot of meanings into everything (even the minutest ones), Or do I say, I get inspired by almost every thing that happens to me.

Just like my mum when being driven, my little driving experience has made me feel like a pro or rather, do I say "james bond" when it comes to driving. I claim to know all the routes and rules of the road, the fast lanes and slow lanes, short cuts and long cuts...yet, I seem to not know the one thing that's very important in driving, which is: "being clear of any influence whatsoever, while driving."

A lot of my friends who drive, suffer this arrogance/verbal influence of mine when it comes to the knowledge of the road. But the person who suffers the most, is my younger brother when he's around. All he hears while driving is "Dee keep to this lane, Stay in the middle, No! that space wont fit you, return to your right, now take the left, take the other route, wait for the green light, watch out for that lorry, use the short cut, don't go beyond 60, slow down a bit, watch out for the speed bumps...to mention but a few. Whew! I still haven't learnt.

One day, he was going for his project and I was running late for work. I asked to join him and as usual, I was ready with my james bond moves. We had recently moved to a new place by the way, and we were still in the process of learning the roads. I had started by saying " take the short cut" as I was running really late and he said it was a rough route and it would probably take us more time to get to work using it. I insisted otherwise, and then he reluctantly agreed. As we drove on along the "shorter route", I continued with my verbal influences and at a point, he pulled over, got down and handed me the keys to drive (since I knew so much about the road). I gladly took it even though I wasn't so sure about the road as I thought I was.

All I really needed then, was to get to work in time. As we drove off, I kept looking out for the turn that would burst out into the express (I knew I had seen one sometime before). I asked a couple of people and they directed me to the road which I thought led to the express, but apparently, that particular express I thought led to my place of work, eventually led us to a completely different place called Gabusa. Just as I was about to turn back in my disappointed state, I dint know there was a small ditch behind and I reversed harshly into it. The car got damaged a bit and I was already about 10 minutes late. I dint know whether to cry or just go back home as I had already gotten frustrated. My brother was quiet the whole time, until he eventually took pitty on me. He decided to get back behind the wheels and In 10 minutes surprisingly, he was able to get me to work. He knew the road even before I insisted on taking it. He also knew the way out from where we got stocked without having to go all the way back. I still ended up getting to work later than I would have if I used the normal route. More worse, I also damaged the car in the process.

Most times in our walk/ride with God, we want to take the faster route, we want every thing done NOW! and FAST!, we want to see the end from where we are. We could go as far as taking decisions into our own hands to fulfill what He has already promised us.
You may be at a point in your life where the promised future seems so slow and you say "If only you can show me a glimpse of the end, I will be satisfied".

But I have learnt that, without faith, it is impossible to please God. It is time to stop asking or demanding signs. It is time to let Him take the wheel. It is time to let go completely, stop telling Him how, and let Him. He knows the plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and bring you to an expected end. This he has promised and this he would do. So fasten your seat belt, relax, and enjoy the ride with God as your driver on this journey called life. He sees the end from the beginning. So, trust Him completely.

Enjoy your weekend. :D