I think Sundays are just my favorite days for blogging. Asides Sundays being very calm, quiet, peaceful and very relaxing, they are the only days that I tend to really think and reflect on a lot of things. They are mostly my days of 'aloneness' which is actually what this post is all about.
ALONE-NESS.
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| The act of spending time just appreciating you. |
It is true that ''It is not good for man to be alone''. However, many have misunderstood and taken this the wrong way in the sense that they have confused the term 'Aloneness' with 'Loneliness'.
Aloneness is the everest of meditation, the highest sunlit peak that goes on growing, spreading and seems as if the whole universe is full of joy and fragrance. Aloneness is presence, fullness, aliveness, joy of being, overflowing love, completeness, nobody is needed, you are enough. Loneliness on the other hand is a black hole, a darkness, a frightening negative state almost like death, a lack, a feeling that something is missing, a pain, a depression, a need, an incompleteness and an absence.
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Probably just about all of us have that fear of being alone to some extent. We fear taking on life without help, we fear having to stand alone, making our own decisions, taking our own steps, making our own mistakes, learning from them and correcting them, traveling alone, having no one to talk to and many others. Well this is the course of our agony.
Most times, we would socialize endlessly on all social networks/media to avoid being alone, we would end up with people who really aren't good enough for us just so we have that 'wall' we can rely on, cling to, hide our fears and insecurities and eventually fall back on when we get tossed by life. We will also shop the world and eat a lot of junks because these are probably the replacements for love. But there is this thing about aloneness that empowers you and that is where the beauty lies.
We tend to view aloneness as scary and depressing but it can be seen as liberating, being free, an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to get to know more about yourself. What are the thoughts that go through your mind when you are alone? Pity?, depression?, comparisons?, regrets?, anger? hatred? wanting to please? cant go on?, cant let go?. Its time to change those thoughts to who am I? what is my purpose? what am I capable of? what are my priorities? can I fulfill my purpose? can I accept myself when I look closely at me? can I see the beauty and gifts within me? can I learn something from my experience?, can I love myself?. These are things to celebrate and not to fear.
Aloneness can be scary but joyful, it helps you to be independent. For example:
If you don't know how to mange money or manage your life, you start with a little amount, prioritize and save, teach your self life and money management skills and little by little, you grow to become self sufficient which is way better than having to rely on someone else. If you can be self sufficient, then relying on someone else is only an act of strength not of weakness.
If you don't know how to protect yourself, learn to be aware of your environment, learn to avoid bad situations, learn how to say no, learn how to get away, learn how to defend yourself you'll d feel more confident in doing so.
If you don't know how to travel alone, start one day, get lost and find your way back, learn to use visual land marks and Google maps and ask for directions. Learn to be okay exploring on your own.
Aloneness also helps to be independent in terms of relationships. For example:
If you aren't okay or happy with being alone, then you certainly wouldn't be okay or happy being in a relationship because you become really dependent needing the other person almost every single time not only to help manage your life or pay your bills, or provide for and protect you, but also for your emotional needs and support. There is no disputing the fact that all of these are nice, but needing too much from someone automatically makes you a needy and desperate person and these aren't attractive qualities. Confidence is attractive, self sufficiency and strength brings respect. So, learn to be okay with being alone just as you are, learn the act of meditation/reflection, have some quiet time, feel that inner peace, get to know your self even more, explore you mind your would be amazed what you can find. Do the things that make you happy, do the little things that don't cost much: read a book, take a walk, play some music, write some nice poems, sketch and most of, BLOG!!!! wink*.
Enjoy your week.
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